Surgery Day


November 24, 2014


I’m up early this morning, 3:30AM.  It feels like the night was a long night though I didn’t sleep much.  Actually, the feeling is similar to that of the night before a marathon, or a major competition/event.  To ease and quiet my mind I opted for a little meditation session led by Deepak Chopra.


The sutra/mantra for today, Monday, is “I am That.” This incompasses a lot:

I see others in myself and myself in others

• My spirit is not only in me but in all other beings and everything that is.

• Everybody is a reflection of myself.

• When I look at the universe, I am looking in my mirror.

• I am a person in a hall of mirrors where I see myself for miles and every reflection I see is of myself, but appears different.

• I see what others see.

• I feel what others feel.

• I am the qualities I admire most in others.

> Others reflect the qualities I cherish in myself.


For me, in a positive frame of mind some of the qualities these statements make me think about are joy, piece, love, kindness, good health, strength, stamina, determination, calmness, trust, organization, faith, hope, courage, and the image of Warrior pose in yoga! Feeling, thinking, and visualizing all of these things going into surgery will cary me into, through and out of surgery!  It’s about the will to survive, the will to live in order to share, touch, Inspire, Learn, Empower and Change! I will be a different person post surgery and I am ready and excited to meet that new person!


Next, the actual time for meditation.  Meditating brings about a quietness that calms the mind, which is so wonderfully relaxing!  It’s soon time to head to the hospital, check in, and settle in with Doctors and nurses.


My parents (Consuelo and Cristobal), my husband (John), my sister (Sandra), and Lydia and Derick (who came in from MN) are here to accompany me throughout the day today.  I am humbled and grateful for their love and support!


I’ll be thinking of all the positive thoughts and energy the universe is sending my way today and in the future days to come!






Internal Struggle


Picture Of Ivonne In A Running Pose

Picture Of Ivonne In A Running Pose

Internal Struggle

October 27, 2014


I’ve been doing a lot of praying, thinking, reading, and trying to process tons of information. I’ve been searching for “what is the right answer” with regards to surgery.  The recommendation from Drs. at Sloan Kettering is for me to have both a historectomy and Partial Resection of the Bladder done.  My original thought was to address my Bladder via a Partial Resection, and watch the fibroids on my uterus; the idea being that the fibroids are likely benign.


On one hand, a historectomy and Partial Resection of the Bladder sounds reasonable.  There would only be one surgery rather than two, if the decision is to address the Bladder now and remove the uterus later.  Also, if the tumor in my bladder possibly came from the uterus, which isn’t known for sure, then the historectomy would eliminate a potential reoccurance of any cancer growths.


On the other hand, if the fibroids on the uterus are indeed benign, the historectomy is irreversible. There is no way of knowing whether the fibroids are truly benign other than by removing the uterus.  This has caused me a great deal of frustration because Drs. just will not biopsy the fibroids unless the uterus is removed.


In one of my Deepak Chopra readings, I came across a Sutra – Sat Chit Ananda.  This sutra means “My inner dialogue reflects the fire of my soul; truth, knowingness, bliss.”. The mantra also indicates that “I am focused on the journey, not the destination…A deeply profound ocean of calm exists within me that is not affected by any turbulence.”


As I read this Sutra, it resonated with me in a powerful way, and yet I wasn’t sure why.  Giving it more thought though, I saw so many appplications of the sutra to my life.  There was and still is a lot for me to learn from my cancer diagnosis.  My task is to learn as much as I can, to share with others my learnings along the way, and in the process to feel empowered while empowering others to learn, ask questions, and live life to its fullest! Living life to its fullest is making sure we take and live life One Day At A Time.  We can be greatful for the opportunities, friendships/relationships, and joys we have today, because tomorrow is a new day with many unknowns!  It is also about acknowledging how experiences may change us and being honest about what brings us happiness and wellbeing.


It was then that I saw the Historectomy in a different light; If I have both the historectomy and the Partial Resection of the Bladder, then I can honestly say that I have done all I could do at this time (today) to address any possible cancer reoccurance in the future.  I will have faith in my decision, and with God by my side, continue moving forward on my life’s journey.  It’s not about what others may think is best for us, deep in our soul we each know what is best for ourselves!